Empire State of Mind … Part III

Malik, the bouncer at the lounge, and I exchange more glances throughout the night across the room, as I stand amidst the crowd of my girlfriends.

Of course, he stands there “acting” like he was working, but I knew all along that he was still checking me out, instead of checking out the lounge’s dancers, drinkers, and party goers, as he should. After all, he is the bouncer. That’s cool, though; I can dig it.

After giving him a few additional episodes of subtle eye contact and flirty smiles, I shimmied my way back over to him and we made some more small talk. He says some charming phrases; I make girlish giggles. Then, he wants to show off his new iPhone 4S; he wants to take photos of us with it. That’s cool. We posed for the camera and he takes some photos. He’s going to send them to me later that night, he says.

It’s getting late now. I’m having so much fun that I don’t realize that it’s 4 a.m.

The club scene gets less crowded and velvet rope barriers are put up in our area so no more people can come in. I guess that’s our sign that it’s time to go. I go grab my jacket from the coat check and I wave good bye to my new friend. He comes over for a hug and says he’ll send me the photos of us later. I think I like this guy.

Content with the night’s festivities, I sit in the passenger seat of my friend’s ride to head home. Soon after, I get the images on my phone. I’m all smiles.

Now, fast-forward to Saturday night. I’m in Maryland visiting a friend, and I get a text. Its A.J. Remember him; the pushy guy from the lounge Friday night? UGH … I wasn’t sure how I wanted to address this dude, or even if I wanted to address him at all. Here goes the text exchange:

A.J.:     Hey, I had so much fun Friday night! I hope you did, too. I’m going to send a picture of myself to you.

(Umm, OK. A little weird that he’d want to send me a photograph of himself. Did he think that I might have forgotten what he looked like? I decide not to answer.)

He sends another text about 30 minutes later with his photograph. I wonder if he goes outside to take the picture to send to me. It’s an image of him standing in a driveway. Interesting, I say to myself. He’s still pretty sweet on the eyes, but this is all strange to me. I go back and forth in my head to figure out if I even want to respond. And, then I decide – to be nice – to acknowledge that I received his text messages. I keep it simple.

Me:     Thanks for the pic J

            (He responds right away.)

A.J.:     OK

Send me a picture of you.

(WHAT? No. This is getting a little strange. I decide not to answer and go to bed.)

It’s Sunday now. I had a full day, driving back home from Maryland – a long, grueling 5 ½ hours in traffic. Still, I’m content that I get home with time left to still relax and get myself together before having to go to bed and get up early to go to work the next day. My apartment is clean, I warm up some homemade vegetable minestrone soup and I sit on my living room couch to catch up on my shows. Bravo is my first channel choice: The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

My phone rings. It’s Malik.

I’m happy he called, and, initially, the conversation goes well, but then it turns sour. I tell him what city I live in and he goes, “Oh, all the women out there are snobby.” Isn’t that an insult? Sounds like it to me. I let it pass though and say that not all of “us” are snobby. But, he continues to argue and say that’s what the women are like out in my town. OK; I change the subject. But, throughout the entire conversation, if I say something, he argues and says “no, it’s this way” or “no, it’s that way”. I literally am not able to get one word out before he cuts in and talks over me to prove his point. How annoying!

Then, out of no where, Malik starts asking questions rapidly. Where’s your family from? How old you are? When was the last time you were in a relationship? Why did you break up? Geesh! Once I’m able to catch up, I start to answer his last question. As I start, “Well, it is a little complicated to explain,”…. He, interrupts, again, and says … “Get to the point.”

Immediately, I call him out and tell him how rude he is being. I explain that he has to let other people speak and that he’s not always right and needs to stop being so forceful. It was getting on my nerves and this is not how I envisioned spending my evening. At the end of my rant, I say, “Now, would you like to continue this conversation, or end it.” He decides to end it. I hung up and that was that!

I try to get back to my Zen meditation watching the housewives.

But, I’m convinced that some higher power doesn’t want me to rest, when I get a text message from A.J. … except, it’s not A.J., it’s his cousin (I think), who was also at the lounge Friday night. *Sigh* Here goes the text exchange:

A.J. (Actually his cousin):         Hey, what’s up, my boy said he’s going to be coming back to New York in two weeks.

Me:     OK, but who is this? Why isn’t he telling me this himself. Is this your cell phone. Does he have his own cell phone? I’m confused. LOL

A.J. (His cousin):          It’s his cousin. He said he’s going to call you later tonight.

Me:     It was really nice meeting you guys on Friday night, but I really am not interesting in dating anyone right now. I’m really busy with life and my career. (I’m lying through my teeth, but I know that these shenanigans are not going to work for me).

I don’t get a respond, so I make a heavy sigh of relief, thinking that he’d leave me alone.

But, I thought wrong.

A.J., or his cousin, proceeded to call me an hour later. I didn’t answer. He leaves me a message saying that he wanted to talk to me and that he’d call back in five minutes. (Huh?) I ignore.

THEN, he calls me four times within 30 minutes. Is this dude crazy?! In between the missed calls, he sends me text messages saying that he’s been calling me and wants to talk to me. An hour later, he calls again, and, of course, I don’t answer. He doesn’t call again, so I’m praying he gets the hint. Right away, I add him to my “blocked calls” list.

What is wrong with people? I swear I meet all the crazies!

I turn my iPod on and tune in to Jay-Z and Alicia Key’s Empire State of Mind beats to calm my nerves before I go to bed. New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of…

An Empire State of Mind … (Part II)

I continued to enjoy my evening Friday night, feeling on top of the world with an “empire state of mind.” I was celebrating with some of my best friends and really enjoying the vibe at the Empire Hotel rooftop lounge in Manhattan. The sickness that I felt at the beginning of the night vanished and before I knew it, I proceeded to do the “running man” and was singing along to the popular lyrics of the “Party Rock Anthem” song and Rihanna’s new jam, “We Found Love”. I was enjoying myself to the fullest, letting my hair down and just living in the moment. Then, A.J. came from behind to dance with me.

We continued to spark conversation, he explained how he was really into me, which I thought was nice, but it seemed as thought he was a bit too pushy. You see, he told me he lived in Boston. I told him that might be a little difficult if he was interested in dating me. I wasn’t sure if it was pursuing a long-distance situation with someone I didn’t even know was worth it at this point in my life, besides I wasn’t thinking about that. Tonight, I just wanted to hang out with my friends and have fun! Well, because I wasn’t giving him any solid feedback regarding whether I’d like to see him again, he totally changed his mood. His facial expression changed and he seemed a bit angry. He asked that if he came back to New York if I’d be interested in meeting up with him, and sadly (for him, I guess), I couldn’t give him a straight answer. “I don’t know,” I said.

Side note: I mean, c’mon, why do I have to give a straight answer and why is he being all serious? I came out to have fun, not to be given ultimatums. I told him about himself and then proceeded to tell his friends that he needed to cool out. Annoyed by the conversation, I moved away from him and his friends and went back over to my girls to party the night away.

Meanwhile, I noticed from my peripheral vision that Malik was checking me out again. My friend was talking to him, so I decided to join in on the conversation. She was, apparently, talking to him about me and why I’m an awesome chick. Once I walked over, she left us alone. We made small talk for a little while before I was armed away by my friends. As, I made my way back to my party group, I noticed A.J. standing in the area motioning for me to come to him. I oblige and he proceeds to tell me he’s leaving. Keeping my friendly composure, yet thinking in my head “I hope he doesn’t call me, even if he’s hot, because he’s got issues,” I give him a hug and said it was nice meeting him and his friends.

Minutes later, Malik tells me he noticed that I’m interested in short boys (referring to A.J.). Oh please, do I sense jealousy?

To be continued …See “Empire State of Mind Part III”.

An Empire State of Mind …

Despite being excessively tired, on the brink of catching a head cold or sinus infection, and the fact that I had to get up at 7 a.m. the next morning to take a 3.5-hour drive to Maryland, didn’t stop me. I still wanted to party Friday night.

After all, it was one of my closest friend’s birthday party; I just HAD to be there and party it up with in celebration. So, I went. And, boy oh BOY, what an interesting night it was.

First of all, it was at NYC’s Empire Hotel rooftop lounge. I had never been to the spot, but it sounded interesting. I slowly crawled out of my deep slumber (also known as my party nap) and walked with my eyes closed to the shower. After that, it was “on and poppin’!” I pulled out my fire red silky, spaghetti strap top, my skinny jeans and some fly pumps, grabbed my suede cropped jacket and I was headed out the door to catch the next train to the city.

I meet a friend of mine at the spot and we get into a little squabble with the bouncers at the door to get in, but finally, we head to the elevator and press the button for the top floor. As soon as the elevator doors open, it was, dim and lively. Three sections of the rooftop lounge were consumed with people of various elasticities, ages and backgrounds. We went right in, got our drinks and scoped the place out.

Now, to the good part!

First, I encountered onlooker No. 1. He’s tall, let’s say around 6′ 3″, has long dreads and doesn’t really get my attention until he offers to take photographs of me and my girls! After handing the camera back to my friend, he introduces himself. “Hi, my name is Malik. How are you doing tonight?” We spark up a conversation and he seems cool. He’s actually one of the bouncers at the place and seems really genuine and very charming, great personality and a lot of confidence, which is nice. We exchange digits.

Now, of course I couldn’t just spend the night talking to him. So, I go back and dance with the birthday girl. Then, onlooker No. 2 approaches me. He’s Haitian and Jamaican, he says, and he saw me and “he knew what he wanted.” Ummm, excuse me, that’s nice and all, but my radar thought “ALERT, ALERT, controller, stalker, pyscho!!!” or he was probably just trying to get some that night, which I was NOT having.

Onlooker No. 2, A.J., was pretty pleasant on the eyes, muscular and bought my friend and I a drink, so I continued to talk to him and dance. He seemed fine … that is until I found out that he was 32 years old, divorced, with a 6-year old daughter, a full-time student with no job. Sorry, that’s not going to work for me. But, sweet ole me, I obliged to give him my number anyway because he was cute. Perhaps, that was a mistake?

I’ll fill you in later on the details that followed throughout the weekend.

Read on to Part II …

I Never Quit … But, This is for the Birds!

After several weeks of weeding out the good and the bad from the landscape of single online daters, I shut down my account on OKCupid.com last night.

Truth of the matter is, it was taking too much work … and, quite honestly, I was getting bored reading through all of the profiles of strangers that I had to figure out were honest, if I’d want to contact them, and if I’d consider dating them. And, for the time period I was on there, there didn’t seem to be any interesting people, just a bunch of stalkers, wierdos, losers, or people who just wanted someone to get down and dirty with (no thanks!).

This taught me a very good lesson – I’m pushing it too hard.

I mean, the initial start to my online dating adventure was simply to have content for my blog page because there were no particularly good dates I had been on. But, more and more as I sifted through profiles every night, or every other night, and contacted guys and waited for them to respond was simply tiring.

I’m not saying that I won’t ever do it again, but for now, it’s not that serious. I think I’ll go back into my cave, enjoy single life, and let the higher powers choose the “one” for me. I will wait until someone comes knocking on the door of my heart, instead of me forcing my way through to find someone that I think could do the job. They say it happens when you least expecting it, right?

Well, I think I will fall back for a bit. See ya when I have some juicy stories to tell. In the meantime, share some of your juicy stories with me!