75 Birthday Wishes

What does the number 75 mean to you?

When you think of 75, do you think of the glass 3/4 full or 3/4 empty? Do you think of the fact that it equals  three quarters, or does that mean you are a quarter less from a dollar? This past weekend, as my grandmother celebrated her 75th birthday, I contemplated on how she would compare her age to these analogies. 

As far as I’m concerned (and as many others, I’m sure, feel), a 75th birthday  is quite an accomplishment and milestone. Not everyone is blessed to reach 75 years. However, as she read greeting cards from family members that had the number “75″ highlighted throughout, because we were proud of the milestone, I noticed in her face expressions that it made her think about how old she really is now.  Remarking in a somewhat sad fashion, she said to my mother, sister and I,  “Someone told me today that I’ve lived a quarter of a century. I don’t know how I feel about that.” I know, *sad face*, right? I felt bad when she said that.

Obviously, the fact that she turned 75 years old made her a little melancholy, while we, her family,  were gleaming with happiness as soon as we walked through her door with a ginormous balloon – bigger than us all – marking her birthday.  See, we know how far she has come. She had been very sick for several years, battling severe asthma, diabetes, anemia, fibromyalgia, breast cancer at one point and other health issues. I can understand why she feels the way she does and I’m sure her daily aches and pains remind her of the many years she has been on this earth. But, on the other hand, as a 30-year old woman, looking in, I am so proud of her and her age and only hope that I can reach that age with dignity and be proud of the life that I had lived thus far.

The gap between our ages reflects so much.

Known in the family as one of the smartest of her 7 siblings, she retired from a long, successful career; I’m still trying to find the job that works for me.

She has been married, had a child, and grandchildren and has survived her husband; I’m still looking for the “one” and hope to have a husband and children of my own in the next few years.

She has experienced much life has to offer, including seeing dozens of Broadway shows and other theatrical performances, traveling to places like the Bahamas several times throughout her life,  and earning an income that allowed her to really experience what life has to offer; I’m still looking to have these experiences.

Yet, we have so much in common.

My determination to do what makes ME happy, my drive for success in my career and financial happiness, my love for my family…that all is partly due to her encouragement towards me and teachings.

Her birthday this year, to me, reflects the 75 years that she has been a blessing to her family, and specifically, me. To be a blessing to someone – what an accomplishment that, alone, is! I only hope that if I am blessed to live to the age of 75, I am able to accomplish just a little portion of what she has been able to accomplish.

I send 75 birthday wishes to my grandmother this year (which truly does not amount to how much love I have for her), and will show her more and more each day how much she is loved and how proud she should be of her life and it’s affect on others.

Turkey…and a side of Thanksgiving

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost the “holiday excitement” that comes along with Thanksgiving day.

Same thing happens every year:

I go to my parents’ house for brunch (which is really a nice Thanksgiving spread my mother prepares; food is BANGIN’!), we follow our tradition of seeing a movie at the theaters collectively as a family (this year, we’ll be seeing “Faster” …obviously my step-dad’s choice), then we go to my grandmother’s house for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.

I end the night in a merry food coma alone in my apartment…I usually pass out by 9 p.m. Boring, right?

Well, as with getting older, I’ve also began to realize my blessings in life. Each day is not promised to you. And, even though, certain family members can get on my nerves – at times – I’m thankful for them. For without each one of them, I would not be where I am today. My mother is my best friend, my sister is the best sister I could have ever asked for, my step-dad, though the disciplinary of the family, certainly loves me, and my grandmother spoils me rotten! I love each one of them.

Besides being thankful for my family members and my friends (my “besties,” especially),  I am also very thankful for God giving me the mind to begin seriously writing a book that I’ve had in the back of my head for years now.

One of my favorite works by Artist Faith Ringgold, The American People Series #16: Woman Looking in a Mirror

Thanks to a recent art exhibit lecture by Artist Faith Ringgold, who inspired me as she spoke about her life experience and expression through her amazing art pieces, and to a phenomenal NYC Off-Broadway play called Black Angels Over Tuskegee, written and directed by Layon Gray, I am now ready to document the lives of my great aunts and uncles who grew up in Tuskegee, Alabama during the late 1940s and moved to the North as part of the Great Migration movement (second migration). Their lives are amazing and I’m excited and honored to get back into the swing of writing about them.

This book project that I am embarking on is not just about me;  it’s about my family. And, although it will take me some time to complete (and whether I decide to really publish it or not), I’m glad that I am now fully focused on working on it, and I hope I make my family proud.

Although I could go on and on about what I’m thankful for these days, I, lastly, want to say that I’m thankful for taking steps to learn more about “me” and being a little bit more comfortable being single. During this time that I’ve been single, I’ve began to really appreciate who I am and what I want out of life – and learned not to settle. And, although, there is someone special that has been consuming my mind lately, I’ve also worked on trying to never lose focus on the person who’s most important – that will be me: yours truly.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving holiday. Spend it with the ones you love and appreciate where you are in life. Many blessings for you and your families!

xoxo

~ Hope

Reflections Over Apple Orchards and Pumpkin Patches

Autumn. It’s a beautiful time of year.

Multi-colored leaves dance through the wind. Shades of orange, yellow, red, brown and green paint the landscape. Crunchy leaves blanket front yards and streets. Chimneys blow smoke into the clouds.  Pashmina scarves, hats and fingerless gloves are taken out of storage and the crisp cold lurks through the air.

A perfect time to cuddle with your spouse, right?

Yes. But, instead,  I chose to cuddle with some very special little ones this weekend. My 4- and 7-year old cousins. As the signs of the Fall season swept through the crisp air in the country’s northeast region this past weekend, I took to the apple orchards and pumpkin patches and ran free with my little cousins, sister and mother,  instead of consuming my mind with thoughts of – him.

No worries; he didn’t do anything wrong, and things are still going well. I just realized that I was letting myself get a little too obsessed with the fact of being with him and forgetting about other important things in life. Quite frankly, I lost a little of myself.

Before you begin the hoorays and the applause, I am still obsessed with him;  I’m not gonna lie! (The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem, right?) But, seriously, the more and more I think about us, it’s almost like it is fate that we are back to talking to each other on another level; instead of just as friends. He makes me have butterflies, he makes me laugh, and he is very thoughtful.

BUT, I realized – as I laughed and played with my little cousins, ran through the fields with them, and just enjoyed nature freely – that I have to make sure that I never forget who comes most important in my life. And, that’s me.

This weekend, I enjoyed the simplicity of life: the sounds of  innocent laughter from children, the sounds of birds chirping, the joy of snuggling up with kids who love you, enjoying their excitement over new experiences like picking and eating apples right off the tree,  looking for interesting-looking pumpkins, tasting pumpkin fudge and pumpkin cheesecake for the first time, and knowing that I am single and able to do so many things that I enjoy.

It may sound corny, but I really had a great time refocusing this weekend. I’m optimistic that I’ll continue to think this way. Although, I am so excited to continue this journey with this new man in my life (wow, sounds weird saying it out loud), I hope that I always remember to not forget about me - whether I’m in or out of a romantic relationship with someone.

By the way, yes, he did text “Good Morning!!!!!!” to me at 7:45 a.m. this morning. *Sigh* …I heart him.

Honorary Auntie Weekend (Or, for a better summary of this blog entry: “Me Rambling”)

This weekend, I’ll be babysitting my two little cousins (both under the age of 10). They are very loving, comedic – and full of energy; and I get them all to myself as I give their mother and grandparents a little freedom.

To tell you the truth, I can’t wait! I love them to death (smiley face).

It’s funny how my weekends contrast. Just this past weekend, I was partying it up with my girls and enjoying my single life. Yes, that’s right; I’m 30 – and what?!

Just to give you an update, I’ve decided to let “Akeem” go. Yes, yes, I know you all were looking for more details on the progression of that situation (go ahead and laugh out loud). But, our personalities didn’t match and I felt it’s better to let him go than to fool him – or myself. So, I’ll beee moving onnnn, as R&B singer Mya would say. (Brownie points for me for following my own advice in my previous blog entry)

But, more about this past weekend: It was another fun night in Manhattan, with three beautiful young ladies. We put on our “freakum” dresses and danced the night away at Highline Ballroom in New York City’s west side. Great music, great company, but not-so-good looking guys. Haha. But, perhaps the latter part was because I wasn’t really paying attention to the crowd there. Sometimes girls just want to have fun!

But, this coming weekend, I’ll be having fun with the little ones. No partying until 4 a.m., no DJs, no “freakum dresses;” just me and my cousins, and probably my 16-year-old sister who will give me a hand babysitting. Perhaps, we’ll use the TV remote control as microphones as we pretend we’re on America’s Got Talent or American Idol. Or, maybe we’ll act like Tyra Banks on America’s Next Top Model like we did last time. We could watch a movie, go to the park and eat ice cream, or just hang out at the mall. All that matters is that it’s quality family time.

This weekend will be my “single life” weekend off as I spend two days being an honorary auntie.