How’s that New Year’s Resolution Going?

As the first month of 2011 comes to an end, how have you been doing with your New Year’s resolutions?

Some of you may have put the typical goals on your resolutions list: lose weight, save money, etc. But, this year, I took a somewhat different turn; I decided to put a different kind of achievement down as my main New Year’s resolution – to further my personal career in writing.

The first step of that goal began last year when I began this blog. Starting out as just something to do for fun – and to keep my writing skills on point, I’ve really loved contributing to the blog-sphere at least once a week. It’s therapeutic and allows you to network with people on a anonymous basis with those who have similar interests. Here are some of the blog pages that I’ve enjoyed linking to thus far:

Seriously? Is it Just Me…: http://seriouslybymk.com

Headaches of a Holy Handmaiden: http://hhhandmaiden.wordpress.com

Brownngirl: http://thisbrownngirl.wordpress.com

Up4 Discussion: http://up4dsn.wordpress.com

Single Independent Sistah: http://singleindependentsistah.wordpress.com

My Radio: http://and1grad.wordpress.com

A Daily Dose of … Jeff Daley: http://jeffdalydose.wordpress.com

Thanks, fellow bloggers!

In addition to the blog, I’ve also began writing a book. This will be a challenge and I’m sure will take several years to complete, as it will entail a lot of research. However, I’m glad I’ve gotten started and it gets more and more fun as I progress with it. Check out the blog post I recently wrote about it:  Turkey … and a Side of Thanksgiving.

Lastly, I’ve started to span out into freelance writing.

This past summer, there were drastic changes that occurred at my public relations job that changed my work responsibility and required me to do less writing and more customer service. In an effort for me continue practicing my writing skills, in addition to the two above ventures, I thought freelancing my be a good idea. Why let my journalism skills go to waste?

A close friend of mine, who has been a mentor for me, shared an opportunity with me recently, which led me to send out my first proposal to a prospective client today. I’m super excited, yet very nervous. We’ll see what happens; I’m just happy that I’m starting to use my talent in the ways that I want to, not just how my boss wants to.

I’m excited to see where this year leads me, as I continue focusing on my personal writing career – and, also work on the typical resolutions like better financial management and a healthy lifestyle.

I hope this blog post encourages you all to continue to reach for your goals in life, whatever they may be, and I hope I am able to keep this momentum going for myself! (Fingers Crossed)

Good luck on your New Year’s Resolutions!

Nikki Minaj…In this Moment I Just Feel so Alive

The title of this blog post is exactly how I feel when I hear a song that I love. I literally feel “alive”. And, I’m sure you all can relate.

This morning, as with many mornings, I had the radio on while driving to work and I heard a favorite song and blasted the music up to deafening levels. And, then I immediately broke out with an instant upper-body dance, clapping  hands and rotating arm movements while steering the wheel, and old skool dances upper-body movements like the snake and wop. YES,  I brought back the WOP!

I have had many experiences where I broke out in a dance move while driving (of course, buckled up – because it’s the law!), not caring that fellow drivers might look at me like I’m crazy.

If you haven’t noticed already – for all of you slow readers out there – I’m mimicking the lyrics from newly famed singer/rapper Nikki Minaj’s new song “Moment for Life” in this blog post headline. Listening to this song recently really made me relate to her. I admire her courage to come into the hip hop scene and powerfully promote herself through music. Her lyrics are fierce and she’s telling the world she doesn’t care about what they think; she knows she’s hot! With her crazy faces and barbie-doll look and random yelling in her songs, you can tell that she could care less what you think. She likes to have fun with music while still getting her message across.

Now, I know there is speculation out there that Nikki Minaj is trying to copycat Lil’ Kim’s style. But, let’s be real, no one wants to look at Lil’ Kim and her lion-face. Sorry,lol, I’m not trying to be mean, but ya’ll know she looks like a lion after all of that plastic surgery she’s had done. I think we should give credit to Nikki Minaj for coming out with a hot record. Just read the lyrics to this song:

I fly with the stars in the skies,
I am no longer trying to survive,
I believe that life is a prize,
But to live doesn’t mean you’re alive.

Don’t worry bout me, and who I fire
I get what I desire, it’s my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water, upon the vampire
In this very moment I’m king,
In very moment I slay, Goliath with a sling,
This very moment I bring
Put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring,
And I will retire with the crown, Yes!
No I’m not lucky I’m blessed, Yes!
Clap for the heavyweight champ, Me!
But I couldn’t do it all alone, We!
Young Money raised me, grew up out in Paisley
Southside Jamaica, Queens and it’s crazy
cause I’m still hood, Hollywood couldn’t change me
shout out to my haters, sorry that you couldn’t phase me
ain’t being cocky we just vindicated, best believe that when were done
This moment will be syndicated, I don’t know, this night just reminds me of everything that they deprived me of, kuhh!!!
put ya drinks up, it’s a celebration every time we link up
We done did everything they can think of
Greatness is what we wanna brink up.

I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life
Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive

Doesn’t that just pump you up and make you feel like you can conquer the world? And, haven’t you been in circumstances where you were so overjoyed and felt like you could do anything you put your mind to? I jammed to this song this morning during the drive into work and really helped with my Monday blues.

I applaud her. At this moment, I feel so alive, and I feel that I can really relate to her. There is much more to topic. Is there a particular musical artist or song that you can relate to? Why? I took this question to my Facebook page and I got back lots of feedback. Check it out…

“I’m a blend of Ms Hill, Ms Owens, and Ms Franklin. These ladies expressed themselves as the woman I perceive myself to be. They we blunt and strong but still brought femininity to the mix.”

“I wanted to comment but…no artist in particular I feel I relate most too. I relate more to their songs at times but as a people they are who they are I am who I am ………..”

“That is a hard question because their are so many female artist i liked through the years…i loved Salt and Pepper,TLC, Lil Kim, Sade, and others because their lyrics meant something and i could relate to their sometimes over the top ways. It was ok to be a strong sensual women with opinions not everyone agreed with.”

“That is a great question, but hands down I would have to say the late great Teena Marie, her lyrics, songs, melodies, preformances, and most of all her longevity in the business. I love how she loves music, it is evident.”

“If I had to choose, I feel I am a combination of Luther Vandross, EW&F, Mary J. and of course, Michael. All of their music influenced me in one way or another from childhood to now. I grew up with Michael, in my teen years, understood spirituality with Earth, Wind & Fire, and how love hurts and heals with Luther and Mary J.”

What musical artist do you relate to the most?

I did it! (Applause)

So, I’ve been taking salsa lessons for the past few weeks, and all the while I’ve been taking a friend with me, just because two of my girl friends seemed interested and wanted to tag along.

I’ve missed a couple of classes when a friend didn’t want to go, but I blame the horrible icy and snowy weather in the Northeast for that. However, yesterday, when my friend sent me a text late in the day and said she couldn’t make salsa class last night, I was faced with the question – should I go alone?

Now, some of you may remember a couple of my past posts similar to this topic: “Is it OK to go … Alone?” (which discussed whether women should go out to places by themselves) and “Going out on a limb with salsa night!” (where I pumped myself up to go to my first salsa class alone, but didn’t because later on a friend wanted to tag along for the fun).

I thought about these two posts on the drive home from work last night and decided that nothing should hold me back from doing something I want to do. Now, the reason why I even questioned going alone was because I thought it would make me look and feel awkward – me standing in the corner of the dance floor looking into space and hoping (praying) someone would ask me to dance. But, it was the total opposite.

Here is how the class is set up: There is an hour-long class, starting at 7 p.m. And, then after the class, a DJ sets up to play Latin music until about 1 a.m. and everyone intermixes and dances together while sipping on $5 mojitos. Fun, right?

Well, fun is exactly what I had! I showed up at class and danced with different partners, as I usually did before. It was not awkward that I was there alone. Then, when the DJ started pumping the music, several men asked me to dance. Perhaps, they saw that I was alone and that made them ask me to dance even more, but I had a great time. In fact, there was this one guy who asked me to dance and he really took the time to teach me some moves. He wasn’t an instructor, but is pretty much an expert, and he showed me what I was doing wrong and what I was doing right. By the end of our few dances together, I was able to feel the motion so much better against the waves of Latin music.  It was almost like a scene from Dirty Dancing…no joke, y’all!

Even when I wasn’t dancing with someone, I was able to really take a look at the expert dancers in the room and simply enjoyed watching them as they motioned their feet to the music and twirled around the wooden floors. It’s really amazing when you sit there and watch. Salsa is such a beautiful way to dance.

Anyway, this all taught me a very important lesson: I need to go places alone more often! I need to go to the movies, go to Barnes N’ Nobles and get a coffee and read a book, take trips alone, maybe even go to Happy Hour after work one day alone – I need to just do it! Sometimes taking people with you can hold you back from really enjoying yourself – I learned that last night. I think in this journey I’ll learn so much about myself. I hope you all try it out, too – you might learn something about yourself you never knew!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

C’mon, let me help you get in the mood:

(eh hem, excuse me while I clear my throat…)

Sleigh bells ring… are you listening?

No? OK…

Well, why don’t you jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell ROCK!

Not feeling that either? Well, then, try…

Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleighhhhh, GOSH DARNIT!

That’s not working, either? Ugh!

Ok, ok, ok… how about these funny pics I found online?

Seriously? If you haven’t laughed or smiled by now or none of this has gotten you in the holiday spirit, you have some serious issues!

I love this time of year, and can’t stand when people are lousy grumps!

The holiday season should be a time when you can’t help but smile and be friendly towards others. It’s a time when you see overjoyed children gaze at the sparkly lights and Santa Claus impersonators that decorate malls, a time when you see lovers walking down the sidewalks with their hands interlocked, a time where family comes together even if they don’t get along, a time to be grateful for every thing and every person  in your life — not a time to be a scrooge!

I’ve always been a chipper person. I just enjoy smiling, laughing and loving. It’s what makes me…me! And, when it comes to this time of year, don’t get me started! haha! But, some people just are not willing to be happy this time of year, for whatever reason. I say to you, GET OUT OF THAT RUT! I know we all go through things, but be thankful for the good things! You are too BLESSED to be STRESSED!

As Miranda Priestly would say in The Devil Wears Prada…

… “That is all.”

Happy Monday, I guess…

My thoughts on this Monday:

• Upset over the fact that the heat in my apartment was off/broken all weekend… of all weekends it had to be the weekend when the temps were in the 40s. FML

• Couldn’t sleep well last night because of the freezing cold and my throat became scratchy; feels like I’m catching a cold (my poor, runny nose! Achoo!)

• Woke up an hour late this morning because I was up in the middle of the night and then somehow was able to fall back asleep, so had to get ready for work in 10 minutes *Thanks a lot, alarm clock!*

• Got stuck in traffic on the way to work because a commercial truck didn’t realize it couldn’t fit under the underpass of the parkway. Drove by what looked like a smashed in accordion. What a dummy.

… and, it’s Monday – makes my day just that much happier! (can you sense the sarcasm?) Hopefully, the week will get better.

On a positive note, I had a great Ladies Night with a few of my friends Friday night. We had a nice, elegant dinner and some great laughs. And, plans to FINALLY meet up with my “friend” has been narrowed down to Thanksgiving weekend. We’ll see what happens.

Appreciating Where You Are In Life

This weekend, I took a little road trip to see a couple of my very close friends from high school. They recently had babies and I was to meet one for the very first time and the other one I had seen one time previously. I was excited to see the newborn cutie-pies, but boy did I feel out of place when I got there.

Although excited to see the babies and to spoil them with my “Honorary Auntie” title, I must admit that when the chatter about diapers, percentile weight and height, sleeping patterns and breastfeeding began, I slowly wanted to curl up in a ball and become invisible. I found myself smiling and simply staring into space. I mean, really, what did I have to contribute to the conversation?

Now, I’m not saying this because I feel the sudden need to have children. That’s not it at all. It just made me realize, again, how many of my friends have already reached that point in their lives where they are married and/or pregnant and/or have children (or thinking about all of the above). Fact of the matter is, they are on a different level than I am currently. Their focus is no longer on themselves or even their spouses, it’s about their children.

As I sat there twiddling my thumbs and waiting for a gap in the conversation to turn to a subject from which I was more familiar, I wondered…Since I’m not a mom yet, will this hurt our friendship? Will we still have relevant things to talk about? Are my conversations about dating and the single life of no interest to them?

Actually, it’s quite the opposite. They enjoyed me giving my update on the status of my new “friend” relationship and were quite interested in what I was up to these days. I wouldn’t say that their interest was from the fact that they miss the single life, they are quite happy where they are in their lives. But, I think they do enjoy hearing about my experiences since they don’t have those experiences anymore. And, they genuinely care about how I’m doing.

And, honestly, I’m interested in what they’re saying, too. I’m not a mom yet, but when that time comes, I guess I should know all of this stuff they are talking about. But, on the same note, I think I’ll stay content with my single, baby-free life. That’s a lot of responsibility!

While I continued cooing and making silly faces at the babies, I realized that I’m so grateful for my friends, especially these friends. And, I’m so happy to be apart of their lives and meeting this new generation of kids. These two friends and I have known each other for so long, yet we’ve still been able to cherish our friendship.

And, hey, come time for me to have children, I’ll have a bunch of great advice given to me! But for right now, I’m going to continue to love being me, and appreciating where I am in life.

Alone Time – Priceless!

Have you ever sat on your couch, at your kitchen table or any room in your house in complete, utter, solitaire silence? I’m talking about all by yourself; no television, no music, nothing – just pure silence. If not, I suggest you try it sometime.

For the past few weeks, I’ve taken time out – mostly during the weekend – to just sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing….in silence. Or, take a stroll outside (minus the iPod) and just appreciate the simple sounds of God’s creation: nature and other sounds you wouldn’t think twice of (birds singing, leaves rustling across the pavement, the sound of my feet hitting the ground, hearing my breathing). It’s quite peaceful and boy does it change your mood.

It sounds funny as I type it and you might think that I’m silly but silence makes a world of a difference when you’re stressed out and just need to relax, or even as a daily regimen.

I know this is not a phenomenon. People do this all the time and they call it meditation. But, I’ve recently really, truly began to appreciate it. Silence really enables you to appreciate life, appreciate yourself, and appreciate those around you.

And, it’s funny, the things you begin to think about when there are no distractions. Your mind is more reflective. Answers to questions you’ve been struggling to figure out amazingly become crystal clear. And, you just appreciate YOU more. For me it has inspired me to finish things that I’ve started, such as returning to my hobbies of photography and painting, completing the book that I’ve been taking forever to write, and really figuring out what I want to do with my  career and what I want out of life.

This is one of the reasons I love being single.

This week or weekend, I dare you to take the time to treat yourself to silence. And, share with us how it’s made you feel. I look forward to hearing about your experiences.

Uh-oh oohhhh Uh-oh ohhhh!

This is 4allmysingleladees …Now put your hands up!

Whether it be the good or the bad dates (bad dates tend to be the best stories, btw), the freedom of time and choices as a single person, or the not-so-fun learning experiences that come with “singledom”, here is an outlet for me to share my stories with you and for you to share your experiences with those who know what you’re going through. Let’s laugh, cry, get angry and just enjoy talking about it!

Who wants to join me? Ready, set – GO!