dating · relationships · single life

Nice and Slow

Following up on my last blog entry, I thought I’d give you all a little update on how things are going with my “friend” and I. First, thank you to those who left comments on my prior post. They were beautifully written and you both made very valid points.

After much thought, I decided to give it a chance. We are going to “see what develops.” But, yes, we will be going niiiiiiice and slooooooow.

Currently, we are simply talking on the phone more (pretty much everyday or every other day) to get more familiar with each other. Sure there is flirting thrown in there, but I want to make sure we don’t ruin the friendship we already have built.

I have yet to have a more serious conversation with him about how exactly we’re going to take this, but I plan on letting him know that we both have to come from the same frame of mind, such as:

  • If we see things going sour in the relationship, let’s stop it before it gets worse, so we don’t hate each other to the point where we don’t want to talk to each other ever again. Maintaining our friendship is No. 1.
  • Let’s not make this a “hook up” just for our curiosity. If we are really going to see what develops, let’s take it serious. Let’s see if we are relationship material.
  • We should be open-minded. I’m sure we’ve both changed a lot over the years that we’ve known each other. So, as we become more familiar with our lives, let’s keep our minds open and communicate and be honest with one another.

Have I missed anything? In the meantime, tell me; have you ever wanted to date your friend?


5 thoughts on “Nice and Slow

  1. Rekindling an old flame..sounds yummy to me! Plus, it speaks volumes of both of your characters to have maintained a friendship for so long even after casually dating for a time or two. I say go for it and continue to communicate openly and as friends and you all should have great possibilities in store.

    1. Thanks Ashley. Yes, it does speak volumes that we were able to transition to friendship after dating. I do know that he really cherishes our friendship, as do I. Just the other night while we were chatting he said that we will be friends – the greatest of friends – regardless. That makes me happy. Thanks for your comment. Stay tuned 🙂

  2. Well, well, well….I swear I have been in the same situation. Have I ever wanted to date my friend? The question is how many of them have I wanted to date since the majority of them are guys? My answer is yes, of course! But where would it go? What would be the point? Will I feel awkward after the fact? I mean so much questions come into play.I have 3 really good guy friends. One from middle school (7th grade), one from college (since 2005), and one since the age of 13 (met online, AOL when it first came out). Now, I am on 23, you do the math…..

    My middle school friend (lived in Indiana at the time). He is the sweetest guy you could ever meet. Of course we went through our puppy love stage and tried to start a relationship but it never went anywhere. After moving back to NY, he was sad but our friendship never died. We are still close to this day. I went back to Indiana to visit him and some other friends. We wound up spending some time together and you know the rest. After it went down, my feelings for him became stronger. And he didn’t feel the same. I was heart broken but realized “what the hell was I expecting”? I love my friend. We check up on each other weekly and now he is expecting a baby…

    My friend from college….Omg, he is gorgeous….All I have to say is Brazillian ladies! Nice tan skin, muscular, tall, not too skinny, use to have long hair that he would ask me to wash every weekend during our college days. And of course I didn’t mind. But now he keeps a fresh ceasar (FADE haircut)! But is this all he has? Looks? Just doesn’t cut it ladies. All the girls love him only because of his looks…Looks don’t last forever. We do age! Plus he only like Latina’s. Smh, black is beautiful! I am proud African America sista! Amen, to that!

    Now, my AoL friend. Where do I start with him? We have such a beautiful friendship. Getting to know each other over the past 10-11 years has been great. We spend hours upon hours on the phone getting to know each other. We’ve tried over the years to visit one another. He use to live in Louisiana and then moved to Texas to go to school. Now he has a wonderful job, his own place, car, dedicated to his church (even has me tuning in for Monday school and both Sunday services), educated, personable, outgoing, writes poetry, written 3 books already, makes movies (move over Tyler Perry), family is very important to him, down to earth, trustworthy, loving, caring, etc..The list can go on and on. Anyway, all this time we have spoken on the phone, through e-mail, and web chat. But I believe God has a time and a place for everything. He works in mysterious ways. He is so awesome. With learning patience and allowing time pass through the ministry God allowed me to meet him this August. It was love at first sight. You would’ve thought we’ve seen each other before. I stayed at his house and was treated like a queen. I met his church family, his aunt and cousins. The main focus of this trip was to see him in a Christian play called “Images in the Dark”. He was amazing! I truly enjoyed my 4 days in TX! It’s been a month already and I miss the time we spent. But I have to remember to stay focus on what I need to focus on in order to become the person I want to be. If it’s meant to be, God will do the rest! I just have to believe and have patience. Amen!

    As you said, we are taking it nice and slowwwwwwwwwwwwww! Not in rush at all!
    Hopefully this helped! Thanks for allowing me to share! I am inspired to start my own blog! Love Ya

    1. Miss Beautiful, it sounds like you can really relate to what I’m going through. It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone in this. Thanks for sharing your comment, and yes, I would encourage you to start your own blog, as you write very well. And, I’m sure a lot of your thoughts are shared by others. Yay to a future fellow blogger!

      To your comment, sounds like the latter “friend” could be a winner! He seems to have all the characteristics you are looking for. I feel like I’m having dejavu! To me, it seems like the only issue is distance.

      There is a little distance between my friend and I also (a couple of hours), but it works for me because if were to turn this into a serious relationship, I would still have my space. As you can see in my past posts, I’m pretty independent and loving it. Although I do want to have a family one day, I could really wait a few years for all that. I really am enjoying “doing me!” I’m not saying that I’ll always feel that way, but for now, it’s allllll good. Distance can make a relationship stronger, and it could make you focus on your verbal and emotional relationship rather than concentrating and being consumed on the physical side of things.

      But, it seems like you have it all figured out. You’re letting God guide you, and that’s great! If it is meant to be, it will happen. And, if it doesn’t happen. There are greater things in store for you.

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

      1. Awe, thank you! We are never alone in these situations. Someone is always going through the same thing. Distance is and isn’t issue. I am enjoying my life here in NY and he is doing big things in TX. I always know I have to a place to visit. I am very independent as well. While all my family was saying “Girl you never travel alone”, I payed them no mind because I knew God had my favor and sent his angels to have a safe travel round trip. I agree distance has made our friendship/relationship stronger over the years. Who knows what the future holds. Thanks for the comments and I will definitely keep replying to your future post! Take care!

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