There comes a time in everyone’s life where he or she sits and thinks about … life.
Recently, I was lounging on my couch in my living room, not doing anything spectacular; probably catching up with one of the latest “Housewives of …” episodes. And, out of no where, it dawned on me — What am I doing here? And, when I say “here,” I mean life.
What are my goals? I’m talking about LONG TERM goals. I thought about it for several minutes waiting for an answer … nothing… and then I realized that I was dazed into space with my mouth wide open, ready for a fly to come any minute and soar into my mouth and land on my tongue. Blech! I shook my head. It was at that moment that I realized that when it came to my life… I did know where the heck I was going. No plans, no goals, no nothing!
Sure, for many of us women, life goals include finding the man of our dreams, getting married, having children and forming a family of our own. Maybe buying a house, and purchasing the car of our dreams, being financially stable, right? But, what else?
Then, I thought about my career…Do I want to stay in the public relations industry or do I want to expand my horizons and add on other expertise? Hmm, not sure. Do I want to start my own business? Eh, not really. Do I want to be an activist? Nah. Do I want to become president? Nope. I’m not that ambitious, I thought. With no solid answer to any of these great life paths, it made me think, “Geesh! I’m pretty boring.”
Immediately, my questions to myself transitioned into — What is my purpose in life? What does God have planned for me before its my time to go?
It reminds me of that song by Beyoncé, “I Was Here”…
Camera comes back to me….[insert deer caught in headlights emoji] I have no freaking clue why I am here, folks.
I was really shocked at myself. For once in my life, I was completely clueless and did not have a plan. For all of my regular blog followers, you all know that I have had a pretty planned out life, especially when it came to my career. So, 10 years ago, I could answer these questions easily. But, as I’ve gotten older, I guess my direction has changed and at age 35 today, I’m not sure where I see myself.
I started to think that I needed to find balance because my brain was all over the place. I made a goal, a resolution, or whatever you want to call it, that I’d get back to going to church on a regular basis and also amp up my visits to the gym. I needed time away from my usual surroundings to think, to meditate, to speak to God and find out what path I should be on in this wonderful place called life. I don’t want my life to waste away and wake up every morning without appreciating it to the fullest.
I have, in fact, starting going back to church with a friend of mine and have been getting up early head to gym. I’ve used the time to make some initial goals: 1) give back to my community on a regular basis — both financially and through volunteer services with kids, maybe; 2) blog more frequently and really focus on finishing my book that I started, documenting the life of my great grandmother and her children; 3) and, most importantly, having a better spiritual connection with God.
Hooray! At least I’m getting somewhere now.
As I embark on this journey with these three initial goals, I’m hoping that I get better clarity on the questions related to what my long term life goals should be and why God has placed me on this Earth and what positive contributions I can make to my society.
I’m sure I’ll hit some stumbles along the way, but I’m ready and I feel better about the path that is in front of me.