As a single woman in her early 30s, I have heard time and time again: When are you going to have children?!? (Yes, with the exclamation points and whining to go along with it) Now, 
to say that this is annoying to hear … yeah that would be an understatement. No, really, it’s getting tired. Stop asking me!
Us women are put under the spotlight and given so much pressure to have children and to get married. Ok, maybe not in that order, but, why? Is this the “top of the top” that society wants us to accomplish in life? Why not ask, when will you become the next president? Or, when will you break the world record?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Bringing a child into this world is a blessing, and I would be honored to bear that responsibility if it is God’s will. I love children. They are so cute and adorably innocent, especially babies and toddlers. When they get older and need discipline – that’s another story! But, right now, honestly, I’m good. The only thing that really entices me to have a kid is that it would be cool to have a mini-me. Honestly, I’d just be interested in seeing if it came out looking like me!
Ha! Yeah, that would be cool.
C’mon, there’s a lot of work involved with having children. Not only is it another person to take care of, but you have to take care of this person FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. This responsibility doesn’t turn off when the kid turns 18; you don’t just give up your parenthood when the child becomes an adult. Once you have a child, forget about doing things with only yourself in mind. Everything changes; your life revolves around doing things that are in the best interest of your child, that is if you’re a good parent.
Puhleeeease, I’m too selfish right now. I want to explore, travel, spend lots of money, do things that are all about me, me, me! I have so much still that I’d like to accomplish in life. And, I should, while I’m single, right?
The main reason why I haven’t bore another being is because I haven’t fallen in love and met the person I’m going to be with for the rest of my life. Many people follow the same thought: once someone falls in love, they want to reproduce something that was created by that love – and that’s a beautiful notion. I also take “having children” very seriously. It’s not a subject that should be taken lightly. Society reminds me each and every day – with examples – on why I need to make sure I have children with the right person.
The only thing that’s hanging over my head is that it becomes harder for women to have children as they get older. Why can’t this same rule apply with men? That’s SO not fair.
But, I’ve accepted the fact that maybe I’m not meant to have children in this life. And, you know what? That’s fine by me. No, really it is.
It takes a lot of maturity to accept the fact that you may not have children – not because you don’t want to or that you can’t have children, it just may not be in God’s plans. And, that’s cool. My feelings about it could change tomorrow. Ha! But, right now … at this very minute of the day, I can dig it.
I have a beautiful godson (shout out to little “L”) and a goddaughter on the way. That’s all the children I need for today. And, you know what, that works for me.
Stay blessed.
~ H. Amber
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Great accidental parenting advise!! If/when you do have children, they will be some lucky lil ones…until they get older and know everything and get a smart mouth. THEN I’d feel sorry for them!
I’m not sure if I should take this as a compliment or be offended. LOL!
I wouldn’t bother commenting if I meant to be offensive. 🙂
Ok. I just reread it. I initially didn’t get it, but now I do. Lol. Thanks for the comment! I’m glad you agree.
“Accidental parenting advice (it won’t let me edit)” = I also take “having children” very seriously. It’s not a subject that should be taken lightly. Society reminds me each and every day – with examples – on why I need to make sure I have children with the right person.
Seriously, we aren’t in a shortage of humans, so do it right or leave it alone.
I understand the maternal drive – hell mine woke up almost 2 years ago, but I’m in no rush – ticking clocks and whatnot aside. I want children but I’m not ready for them and I will not have them until I have everything in my life in order. I won’t be irresponsible, in the same way that I won’t rush into marriage because I’m afraid of being along.
I think too often women settle because they believe that the years are catching up. I say, even if my child baring days run out – there’s always adoption. The world is filled with so many needy children and being a mother doesn’t mean that the child has to come from your own body.
So when people ask me that question – I say “what will be, will be” – if I’m meant to have children, I’ll have them – If I’m not, I’ll just adopt – eventually 🙂
Ditto! 🙂 Thanks for your comment.
You raise some good points here Hope. I for one have been the receipien of many “SO WHEN…???” comments and i agree that they DO get old. It assumes that its all up to me, nevermind the fact that i have to have MATE to “get this done”. I will admit that i for many years i have let this notion of not being where im supposed to be because i dont have children get to me, but more recently i have become OK with the fact that its not my time. Children are indeed a very big responsibility that, when i am realllly honest with myself, im not quite reqdy for. Like, you, im still feeling very selfish and wanting to do a lot of things before i take that responsibility on! Sometimes i even think of just quitting my job and moving to Italy for a few months to learn the language once and for all. Than my dear, is not the though process of someone ready to settle! haha.